Everyone needs to read this story and mourn for Mila and all the lost children. "Our children need their world back". What our children will need to really heal is an extraordinary effort to "right the ship" that callously derailed their lives and psyches these past two years. Are we up to the task? I sure hope so. I'm sending this post to my Congressional Rep and Senators. This should be our priority as a nation. Sending love and healing to Mila's family. Thank you Heather.
Yes. And thank you. Please share widely. None of us who have not endured the loss of a child can truly fathom it, but Tara's words bring me as close as I've ever been.
A friend lost a one year old grandchild, we never got over it. Her mother was a fanatical photographer. Every year the week before her birthday we celebrate her brief life on Facebook. It does give her mother comfort to have more people know her. Thank you for doing that for Tara. This was one remarkable young woman.
I read your essays, Heather, because you bring some degree of reason and balance into my thinking. I have to; otherwise I would despair. I know I need to seek out wisdom in this upside-down world.
And, the comments here are compassionate and sympathetic, and I appreciate that. It's a balm. Maybe that will prevail if we ever get to a reckoning.
But, I'm am raging; this is but one of the beautiful lives we have sacrificed to safety-ism. I am furious, and I can not imagine these parents' agony. These are not tears of sorrow streaming from my eyes as I read this letter, they are tears of fury.
So many lies, so much evil. Their lust for power and their politics as religion have destroyed us. Science lies in its grave alongside its sister, theology, murdered by simple greed.
This heartbreaking story has multiple parts - the part where our government brought in the freedom to legally purchase THC and the part where the same government that took our other freedoms away, also in the name of a drug. Both actions have been devastating to our children's hopes and futures. But the third part of this story is the counsellor that was ill-equipped to deal with the real problems teens are facing in this 'new normal.' In all cases people were acting above their pay grade. The government were not experts in drug abuse and drug trafficking but acted as they were when they legalized cannabis and it's products, certainly the current leaders aren't experts in any sense of the word of medical industry but acting like they are scientists and doctors, and the counsellor who thought suggesting 'just use less' was proper drug abuse advice should be relegated to the janitor, although the janitor would probably have given her better advice. Mila didn't fail anyone - the so-called leaders in charge failed Mila. My heart aches for Mila's family and I'm praying grief is gentle with them. Thank you for sharing their story.
Yeah, put that way it is weird. The government legalizes a dangerous drug and lets teens use it with impunity? Sure... there's no way THAT could ever go wrong! "Just use less" is about the most worthless advice ever given to an addict.
I had two traumatic experiences since the beginning of the pandemic.
The first was early in 2020, when viewing a homemade YouTube video from somewhere in the US. It pictured an elderly woman in a nursing home, sitting in a wheelchair, frantically rubbing her hand on the window separating her from the loved ones who had come to visit her, and pleading with them to come in and be with her. Clearly not understanding why they were staying behind the glass, away from her. This went on for several minutes after which she gave up, stopped rubbing the glass, rested her hand on her lap, and lowered her chin on her chest. Eventually, a care worker who was seen throughout the video walking back and forth behind the woman, came to collect her and rolled her away. That's when I understood how inhuman the society we live in is. It broke my heart. To this day, I often wake up in the middle of the night crying with visions of this woman, and of the terrible things done to her.
I know I won't be able to forget Tara's story. That visions of Mila will be there at night when I wake up crying. My second traumatic experience of the pandemic.
These pandemic measures are killing us. They are sapping the life out of our kids, of our elderly, of you and I. They must end.
Let’s give the government’s policies and priorities their due as far as the environment created. For those focused on the timeline, this is from March 2021:
“Residents of Ontario's long-term care homes begged on Tuesday to be allowed outside, saying anti-pandemic restrictions that have confined them indoors for more than a year make no sense given almost all have now been vaccinated. Some compared their situations to solitary confinement, and urged the provincial government to act on what they called a gross violation of their basic human rights.
“Chuck Ferkranus, a resident of a home in Newmarket, Ont., said no one in the building has COVID-19 and yet residents are stuck in their rooms. Ferkranus, who challenged those in authority to live as he does for even a week, said residents are being treated worse than criminals. "We did nothing wrong; we're not guilty of any crime," he said. "If vaccinations don't end the rules, if no one having COVID doesn't end the restrictions, then what does it take before this comes to an end?"”
“"It just cannot go on like this; people are really suffering," said Natalie Mehra, executive director of the Ontario Health Coalition. "We're furious and we're heartbroken." Alfred Borg, another resident in Newmarket, said he hasn't been allowed outside for more than a year or even had a shower for five or six months. Instead, he said, residents only get in-room sponge baths when even the law guarantees twice a week baths or showers. "All day long we just sit in our room," Borg said. "Why are we being treated so much differently from everyone else? It is not enough just being alive. We need a better quality of life."
“Dr. Amit Arya, a palliative care physician in long-term care, said quality of life is crucial and infection control can't be allowed to trump all. The restrictions, he said, cannot be justified in light of the "profound harm" social isolation and loneliness can cause seniors.“
And as we all know, the government acted swiftly to take all of this into account and these restrictions which kept the masked, isolated, (and eventually) vaccinated so much safer in order to balance things and guard against the “profound harm” danger cited by the doctor.
Oh wait….
“At a news conference on Tuesday, Ford expressed some sympathy but gave no indication he would act on the concerns. "I fully understand — my mother-in-law's in there," Ford said. "But we have to be super cautious."”
And further relating to the story is an item also from March 2021. which is expandable further down in the comment section:
‘Number of youth in hospital after suicide attempt tripled over 4-month period under COVID-19‘
I remember a news article about an older woman who took a job in the kitchen of a care home so she could see her husband. The home would not let her visit but she could come in and work!
The illogical policy of workers coming and going but no family visits was maddening! You knew they were basing their policies on science at that point.
Thank you, Tara, for enriching my head and heart with the story of Mila’s life. I am in tears after reading this. When we say that we have to balance the efforts to curb spread of the disease with concern for people hurt by those measures, this is what we mean. Will share.
Before we were lied to about covid, we were lied to about marijuana.
I am deeply sorry for Mila's family.
Alex Berenson, an old school firebrand journalist who goes where the evidence leads, wrote about this in "Tell Your Children, The Truth about Marijuana, Mental Illness and Violence" which I read after a friend's son committed suicide following a marijuana-induced psychotic break.
Alex now 'warriors on' about covid on his Substack, Unreported Truths, no matter how much a of pariah it has made him. I highly commend his writing as another oasis of sanity.
Thank you for posting this book. We have read it and used many of the listed studies in our submission to our provincial coroner for an official inquest. I've also been in contact with Alex. He has been generous and kind. - Tara
I was thinking the same thing. Alex had the courage to write about the dangers of marijuana when it is an extremely unpopular opinion. And now he has the courage to take an honest look at the Covid vaccines. We are sorely lacking people of true courage lately but we have a few heroes. And it turns out that many don't wear capes but they do drive trucks.
Thank you for writing this. My heart breaks for Mila and her family. I share a similar story, but my son survived his suicide attempt after experiencing psychosis from marijuana. He developed the pediatric disease of addiction and we spent his teen years in treatment. High school was not a priority anymore. He achieved 3 years of sobriety but relapsed and we haven't seen him in a year and a half.
I'm from Pueblo Colorado, ground zero for the marijuana expansion movement. As are response to the deviating harms of marijuana and the drug culture expansion, I developed a community called Every Brain Matters. https://everybrainmatters.org/
I now speak to families every day in crisis from marijuana use. This past Sunday I spoke to a family who was told to put their son in long-term care (nursing home) because he is permanently psychotic from marijuana. Just a few weeks ago, I spoke at a memorial service for Joshua. Joshua was having his 3rd psychotic break when he jumped in front of a train. Please listen. https://youtu.be/vfB7FGpvTCk
Marijuana is a factor in the increase in violence, addiction, homelessness, suicides, and mental illness.
I’m a clinical social worker with a specialty in substance abuse. I have been horrified by the legalization and normalization of marijuana as “harmless”, along with the “harm reduction” treatment model that ignores everything we know about the effect of drugs of abuse on the brain’s reward system. Given how much we understand about addiction, the willful ignorance displayed by public officials seems deliberate. The question is, “why”?
It's addiction economics. These elite drug dealers have deep pockets and have flooded the country with propaganda campaigns called marijuana medicine, less harmful, and safe. The legal marijuana is now more dangerous, more accessible, and more life-threating than ever before. Join us https://everybrainmatters.org/join/
I started smoking marijuana at age 19, became addicted and unable to quit until age 30. This was back in the 1970s, with much less potent stuff than is sold today. Even back then, “experts” were saying that Marijuana causes only “psychological” not physical dependence. My own experience then (and many others I have worked with since) belie this claim. In addition, I developed crippling panic attacks and am now saddled with a lifelong anxiety disorder, which thankfully I have learned skills to cope with. But I have been appalled at the narrative that marijuana is safe and non-addictive, and even worse that “medical” marijuana is being prescribed to alleviate the very anxiety disorders that it triggers despite ample scientific studies showing that it destabilizes our neurotransmitter balance and can trigger panic attacks, anxiety disorders and psychosis. Even NIDA and Nora Volkow have walked back their once strict stance on marijuana being harmful. Deep pockets indeed.
Dear Aubree, I am so deeply sorry for the pain you must be in with your son. We have three daughters, two older daughters that all experimented with marijuana to some degree. It was only Mila with Mila's unique biochemistry, that was affected. Alex Berenson's book was eye opening. We read through all of the studies he provided in that book and then went further to educate ourselves.
We have had a meeting with the drug counsellors and have submitted a request to our coroner for an official inquest. I have a cousin whose son has permanent psychoses after just a few months of using marijuana. I also know two other people who were able to get their children into treatment early enough to save them.
In Canada, with legalization, the message is that marijuana is safe and its use has been normalized. There has been no education around the danger signs. I hope to move into this next chapter of our lives talking to teenagers and sharing with them those danger signs so they can recognize when their friends are in need of help and not just "seeing ghosts". I am grateful for your work. Thank you.
Dear Tara, I am so very sorry for you loss. I can't imagine how heartbreaking this is to lose a child. I am grateful that you reached out to me. I love that you want to spread education. As you know, there is a huge need for it. Would you consider contacting me at Every Brain Matters? We are developing educational presentations and have other projects going on. We have support groups and we also have families that want to start another support group for grief. My email is everybrainmatter@gmail.com. Sending you love.
Thanks for your balanced message. We each have unique biochemistry and 4 people I know have had their lives saved by careful medical use, one is addicted and a mess. It is neither harmless nor evil, it is a drug to be used carefully for specific treatments. In my family more lives have been destroyed by alcoholism. Legalizing should not include normalizing. Drug prohibition leads to stronger and more deadly drugs. People went from wine and beer to moonshine. High THC products are smaller and more efficient to smuggle. There are many more examples. Andrew Weill's book "From Chocolate to Morphine" is excellent. Kids need balanced information and support when they seek help.
i believe cannabis to be the most beneficial medicine for humanity, it has been demonized by big pharma as it replaces most of the outrageously profitable drugs with a safer more effective remedy which cures cancer etc. doctors and all health professionals need to learn its most effective applications, but won't due to the harmful propaganda
Marijuana, like almost any drug, can be beneficial to some people while it can also be harmful to others. Marijuana is more likely to be dangerous to a developing brain. If you don't start using it until your late 20s or older, you will be more likely to have a safe experience. Marijuana can be useful to treat certain conditions. It can also be dangerous for certain people. I think it was insanity for us to put people in prison for using or selling it but it is equally insane to claim that it is 100% safe for everyone - especially for adolescents. The problem we have today is that we have swung from "marijuana is a dangerous gateway drug" to "marijuana is perfectly safe and beneficial for everyone." Neither is the true story. We need real honesty so that we can prevent the sort of tragedy that Mila suffered. My heart breaks for her and for her family.
Thank your comments. When we talk about marijuana we need to define it. No amount of THC is safe for anyone to use under the age of 25. High concentrated THC is not proven safe for any adult to use. I have witness adults use legal products high concentrated THC products and experience psychosis and addiction. Legalizing marijuana is not about criminal justice reform. It's about money and allowing another predatory addiction-for-profit industry to target our children. It's Tobacco 2.0 but worse. THC is the perfect drug to embed addiction and cause mental illness. I expose this everyday through my organization. We have a public health crisis. Medicine has animal and clinical trails and science to back the claims, not sold by budtenders who just want to get you high. I have a science section on my website. https://everybrainmatters.org/science/
KLG thank you for a more balanced response. cannabis has been a boon for humanity, and does not deserve demonization from anybody, especially the propagandized. i refused it in my youth, even under high peer pressure. and started its use after 60, with good results for better sleeping, less pain and killing cancer. unless you meet an experienced, knowledgeable caring person; it is a trial and error process as the political process is corrupt and the medical system even worse
Mr. Jack: there is a HUGE difference here between a middle-aged adult -- which I assume you are -- who is mentally sound, and has decided to use ordinary marijuana (smoking a joint or taking something food-like version) -- and a vulnerable teenage child who is already showing signs of depression and/or mental illness! and high concentrate THC in a vaping pen is a much more troublesome form of intake than simply smoking a joint (which was all marijuana was, when you and I were teens or in college).
You are comparing apples and oranges here. I doubt anybody posting here would take medical marijuana away from cancer patients, nor anyone over age 60 who wants it as a sleep aid or pain moderator.
No one should be doing trial and error with marijuana. It's a very dangerous drug. I know people who were recreational marijuana users most of their lives and in the past few years developed cannabis-induced psychosis, schizophrenia, and/or cannabinoid hyperemesis syndrome. Intoxicating yourself and making those big claims puts people at risk. Please follow the science when it comes to the chemicals in the marijuana plant, drugs and any publish health issue.
You seem to have an agenda regarding marijuana. That is fine.
I have no agenda with regards to it because I don't use it or have any interest in it other than curiosity as to our public policy. I have read enough about the people who have had really terrible psychiatric outcomes to understand that there are some very real dangers and I am dismayed at our current climate where talking about the dangers is nearly impossible.
There is also little doubt that we spent decades putting people in prison for the drug. We unnecessarily ruined thousands of lives in that way.
There are also some genuine medical uses for cannabis and we haven't been able to do nearly enough research on that because the drug was demonized for so long.
As to "trial and error", we do trial and error with drugs all the time. Every drug has the potential to have a side effect in particular people. I'm sure you've seen the commercials where they list the side effects of RX drugs? It is all an experiment.
Aubree Adams you are fundamentally ignorant of science and facts which is sad. my beliefs are based mostly on my experience in living life which includes learning from all sides. it sounds like you are ignoring the fact that cannabis is a complicated medicine with multiple composition and applications
Thank you for sharing Mila's story (and Dan's and Jordan's very recently). As Mila stated we all need to wake up, stand up and be "the person who did the hard thing because it was right."
You know, I've essentially become desensitized to the phrase "children are resilient". It's become one of those heuristic phrases that removes all notion of nuance and complexity when it comes to the welfare of our children.
What's shocking isn't Mila's story, but that Mila's story is likely the story of so many of our children! It's quite haunting that the story constantly detailed how so many students began to use those THC pens, so you know that there are likely to be dozens of students suffering in that one school alone!
We need to understand that we can't conflate the notion of creating "anti-fragile" children with the notion that "children are resilient". Children are resilient to the extent that they will recover quickly from a broken bone, but in no way can we say that we are creating "anti-fragile" children who are able to thrive within the environments that we have forced them to live under. We need to create mentally strong children, and that includes providing them the avenues to flourish mentally. Under no circumstances can we argue that children have been flourishing with all of these draconian measures!
We all need to understand that just because are alive does not mean we are living. So many children have not been able to live, and we will have to live with the consequences of taking away the livelihoods of millions of children.
Feb 4, 2022·edited Feb 4, 2022Liked by Heather Heying
I read the story and could not fall asleep. My heart aches for Mila, her family and many other kids. I've always felt most concerned about children during the pandemic. My three kids are with me, but they have suffered enormously, and no one will compensate for the loss. We were raising them with minimum exposure to social media and computers in general - they were all into arts, nature, and hands-on learning. They were excellent at school, top students, winning competitions in creative writing, maths, natural sciences, travelling, etc. The pandemic management rules turned almost everything upside down. My teenaged son finished art school playing his chello alone in front of the computer's dark screen: no playing with his teachers, friends, no projects and competitions, no graduation concert. His drawings scattered around the house with no one to look at them but the family. He hated wasting time on-line but is still being forced to sit hours and hours with the computer. My daughter, like Mila, graduated from high school "on-line", entered to study life sciences at a university only to find out that the only professor daring to doubt the narrative was a teacher of English. Her studies were switched to a distant mode just a month after they began - she didn't even have time to make new friends and learn living by herself in another city. She survived covid and refused getting the vaccine or use the "opportunity passport", so was forced to take an academic leave. She's not going back to study life sciences. She hopes to start studying classical literature, if vaccine mandates are cancelled by next fall. My youngest one no longer wants to attend his primary school because he feels sick at the end of the day from mask wearing...
There are so many similar stories around the world that it scares me. It also scares and angers me how many adults keep pretending that everything is just fine with kids and students, that they can easily adjust, that "soft" drugs aren't dangerous, that being safe is most important, that one can actually get jabbed if they value community and education...
Thank you for spreading the stories that matter so much! Though painful, they give strength and ecouragement to fight.
Thank you for sharing part of your story here. How strange and backwards and unscientific that, in order to be part of polite scientific society, as it were, you must currently subscribe to things that you are told, to not question, to not hypothesize, to simply accept. This is the opposite of what scientific thinking and process and method are, of course, but so many have forgotten that, or never knew. Still: if your daughter can find meaning in the study of English, because a professor was open when no others were, perhaps she can find an amazing path through the wilderness. I took the opposite route, decades ago--entered college to study Literature and, dismayed by the lockstep, unquestioning nature of the class discussions I could not escape, I ran to science. There is truth and beauty to be found in both--in the humanities, and in the science--and also depravity and cowardice in both as well.
And no, the kids aren't all right. And yes, here we are, sharing stories that matter so much, as you say. Thank you for contributing to that effort.
Dear Ausra, my heart just breaks reading the story of your children. It brings me to the stories I have been told about so many children and the perverse world we are holding up for them, insisting it is normal and it is here to stay. Children raised to accept the facsimile of interaction and human connection via a blue lit screen. Children taught that their bodies are unreliable and other humans are dangerous, our only possible salvation in the hands of a pharmaceutical god. Children being shown that safety is the most important thing in this world. What comes of this? What humans come from this?
I am comforted that your children have you. I read stories, like these ones https://familiesforchoice.ca/from-the-children direct from the children themselves and I weep. Children who are not sent lunches from home, who stand in the frigid Toronto cold, outside of a coffee shop, disallowed in, while their friends go in to eat. How can this be? How can human beings see a young child, standing in the cold, while they eat on the other side of the glass and accept this?
I don't know what to do so I shared this story. I go to the convoy. I try to speak for what it's worth. I believe that we are all being called to be courageous even in the small ways. Even if it's just refusing to be silent. You and your family are in my heart now, too. Thank you for sharing your story.
I'm so impressed that your children are willing to fight - and suffer - for what they believe. I'm sad for those adults with children who refuse to look further than the main stream media. I believe in the long run their children will suffer. I wish you and them the best.
Thank you for sharing. I’ve really begun to realize just lately with my own children how much this is messing them up mentally. They are so stressed about doing the right thing and not getting sick that they just can’t function anymore with out worrying every single hour of their lives. I’ve done everything I possibly could to diminish their fear and help them live their lives as normal as possible. But we’ve failed them and we will need to live with the consequences of these actions for a long time to come. Prayers for Tara and her family.
Yes. I have three daughters -- one was finishing middle school, one was in high school and one at university -- when the pandemic started. We offered them a stable, loving home. My husband's livelihood was never under threat, and we lived in a conservative area which allowed for in-person h.s.school from Sept. 2020 on. We had the resources to mediate the worse of the pandemic's pressures, including the rental of an extra bedroom for my apartment-bound daughter at university. And it was Still. Hard. to daily buoy up our daughters' mental health even with all the advantages one could hope for.
The area I live never shut down, but certain personalities of kids lived in terror and I know people who still mask and their kids are vaxed and boosted.
My friends in other states risked high fines to get out. I agree, it affected everywhere.
Dear Eustacia, I am so profoundly sorry for your loss. There are no words, I know. I wish I could hug you. I will bring Erin on my forest walk with me today, call her name out to the ravens and ask them to bring love to her. It's not enough but it's something. Sending you love. - Tara
I lost my only child, my 17 year-old son four years ago to suicide. I found him. I worked hard to stay in our home, to make it my sanctuary. Last week, my husband lost his job of 22 years -- no warning, no severance. He works in transportation and the chip shortage has devastated his industry. He turns 60 next month. Now, we must sell our home and move. We have lived under Covid lockdowns in CA; I was hoping we would make it. Now, I am so broken I can barely eat or sleep. This will be the last house where my son had a bedroom. My heart breaks for Mila's mom -- I know her endless pain.
I am so deeply sorry for your losses, all of them. So much devastation for so little reason, destruction not "just" of people and of livelihoods but of the human spirit. The pain no doubt is endless, as you say. It also changes. And you can go on, although even writing that feels trite and callous. Still: you can go on.
This story is tragic in so many ways…The consequences of the global response to Covid-19 will someday be viewed as one of the greatest harms humans ever perpetrated on each other. Also, as a clinical social worker with a specialty in substance abuse, I wish that people would stop normalizing marijuana use and pretending it’s harmless. In addition, I would like to see us stop the fiction of “harm reduction” and get serious about helping people overcome the prison of addiction before more lives are lost.
I would give this a thousand "likes" if I could. A few others have mentioned the substance abuse angle and I think society has leveled grave harms on society by normalizing marijuana use. We need also to help those suffering from addiction. So well said....Thank you.
It cannot be said often enough. Covid didn't make this happen the governments both national and local did this, and it broke people. How many and how badly is going to become clear in the decades to come.
I come also back to a comment I read online, "Are the marijuana legalization lawyers the same ones that negotiated the settlements with the tobacco companies and in 20 years will they be doing the same thing to the marijuana companies?" Probably not the exact same, but I agree with the spirit of the statement.
Everyone needs to read this story and mourn for Mila and all the lost children. "Our children need their world back". What our children will need to really heal is an extraordinary effort to "right the ship" that callously derailed their lives and psyches these past two years. Are we up to the task? I sure hope so. I'm sending this post to my Congressional Rep and Senators. This should be our priority as a nation. Sending love and healing to Mila's family. Thank you Heather.
Yes. And thank you. Please share widely. None of us who have not endured the loss of a child can truly fathom it, but Tara's words bring me as close as I've ever been.
A friend lost a one year old grandchild, we never got over it. Her mother was a fanatical photographer. Every year the week before her birthday we celebrate her brief life on Facebook. It does give her mother comfort to have more people know her. Thank you for doing that for Tara. This was one remarkable young woman.
I think I will it post it over on Quillette. Maybe Canadian editor Jonathan Kay will read it and repent?
A battle royale has been being fought over on the Quillette thread, I think Team Sanity is now on offense.
Thank you
I read your essays, Heather, because you bring some degree of reason and balance into my thinking. I have to; otherwise I would despair. I know I need to seek out wisdom in this upside-down world.
And, the comments here are compassionate and sympathetic, and I appreciate that. It's a balm. Maybe that will prevail if we ever get to a reckoning.
But, I'm am raging; this is but one of the beautiful lives we have sacrificed to safety-ism. I am furious, and I can not imagine these parents' agony. These are not tears of sorrow streaming from my eyes as I read this letter, they are tears of fury.
So many lies, so much evil. Their lust for power and their politics as religion have destroyed us. Science lies in its grave alongside its sister, theology, murdered by simple greed.
This heartbreaking story has multiple parts - the part where our government brought in the freedom to legally purchase THC and the part where the same government that took our other freedoms away, also in the name of a drug. Both actions have been devastating to our children's hopes and futures. But the third part of this story is the counsellor that was ill-equipped to deal with the real problems teens are facing in this 'new normal.' In all cases people were acting above their pay grade. The government were not experts in drug abuse and drug trafficking but acted as they were when they legalized cannabis and it's products, certainly the current leaders aren't experts in any sense of the word of medical industry but acting like they are scientists and doctors, and the counsellor who thought suggesting 'just use less' was proper drug abuse advice should be relegated to the janitor, although the janitor would probably have given her better advice. Mila didn't fail anyone - the so-called leaders in charge failed Mila. My heart aches for Mila's family and I'm praying grief is gentle with them. Thank you for sharing their story.
"Mila didn't fail anyone - the so-called leaders in charge failed Mila."
Precisely true.
Please share widely. Those in power need to know what they have wrought.
Yeah, put that way it is weird. The government legalizes a dangerous drug and lets teens use it with impunity? Sure... there's no way THAT could ever go wrong! "Just use less" is about the most worthless advice ever given to an addict.
Thank you for your eloquent response. I can only say "Ditto."
I had two traumatic experiences since the beginning of the pandemic.
The first was early in 2020, when viewing a homemade YouTube video from somewhere in the US. It pictured an elderly woman in a nursing home, sitting in a wheelchair, frantically rubbing her hand on the window separating her from the loved ones who had come to visit her, and pleading with them to come in and be with her. Clearly not understanding why they were staying behind the glass, away from her. This went on for several minutes after which she gave up, stopped rubbing the glass, rested her hand on her lap, and lowered her chin on her chest. Eventually, a care worker who was seen throughout the video walking back and forth behind the woman, came to collect her and rolled her away. That's when I understood how inhuman the society we live in is. It broke my heart. To this day, I often wake up in the middle of the night crying with visions of this woman, and of the terrible things done to her.
I know I won't be able to forget Tara's story. That visions of Mila will be there at night when I wake up crying. My second traumatic experience of the pandemic.
These pandemic measures are killing us. They are sapping the life out of our kids, of our elderly, of you and I. They must end.
Let’s give the government’s policies and priorities their due as far as the environment created. For those focused on the timeline, this is from March 2021:
https://www.msn.com/en-ca/news/canada/long-term-care-residents-beg-to-go-outside-after-year-long-covid-19-confinement/ar-BB1f8nJn?ocid=msedgntp
“Residents of Ontario's long-term care homes begged on Tuesday to be allowed outside, saying anti-pandemic restrictions that have confined them indoors for more than a year make no sense given almost all have now been vaccinated. Some compared their situations to solitary confinement, and urged the provincial government to act on what they called a gross violation of their basic human rights.
“Chuck Ferkranus, a resident of a home in Newmarket, Ont., said no one in the building has COVID-19 and yet residents are stuck in their rooms. Ferkranus, who challenged those in authority to live as he does for even a week, said residents are being treated worse than criminals. "We did nothing wrong; we're not guilty of any crime," he said. "If vaccinations don't end the rules, if no one having COVID doesn't end the restrictions, then what does it take before this comes to an end?"”
“"It just cannot go on like this; people are really suffering," said Natalie Mehra, executive director of the Ontario Health Coalition. "We're furious and we're heartbroken." Alfred Borg, another resident in Newmarket, said he hasn't been allowed outside for more than a year or even had a shower for five or six months. Instead, he said, residents only get in-room sponge baths when even the law guarantees twice a week baths or showers. "All day long we just sit in our room," Borg said. "Why are we being treated so much differently from everyone else? It is not enough just being alive. We need a better quality of life."
“Dr. Amit Arya, a palliative care physician in long-term care, said quality of life is crucial and infection control can't be allowed to trump all. The restrictions, he said, cannot be justified in light of the "profound harm" social isolation and loneliness can cause seniors.“
And as we all know, the government acted swiftly to take all of this into account and these restrictions which kept the masked, isolated, (and eventually) vaccinated so much safer in order to balance things and guard against the “profound harm” danger cited by the doctor.
Oh wait….
“At a news conference on Tuesday, Ford expressed some sympathy but gave no indication he would act on the concerns. "I fully understand — my mother-in-law's in there," Ford said. "But we have to be super cautious."”
And further relating to the story is an item also from March 2021. which is expandable further down in the comment section:
‘Number of youth in hospital after suicide attempt tripled over 4-month period under COVID-19‘
https://www.cbc.ca/amp/1.5953326
Again, give the government’s policies and priorities their due as far as the environment created.
I remember a news article about an older woman who took a job in the kitchen of a care home so she could see her husband. The home would not let her visit but she could come in and work!
The illogical policy of workers coming and going but no family visits was maddening! You knew they were basing their policies on science at that point.
Thank you, Tara, for enriching my head and heart with the story of Mila’s life. I am in tears after reading this. When we say that we have to balance the efforts to curb spread of the disease with concern for people hurt by those measures, this is what we mean. Will share.
Yes. Thank you, Tara, for sharing your daughter with us, for letting her memory come out into the world.
Before we were lied to about covid, we were lied to about marijuana.
I am deeply sorry for Mila's family.
Alex Berenson, an old school firebrand journalist who goes where the evidence leads, wrote about this in "Tell Your Children, The Truth about Marijuana, Mental Illness and Violence" which I read after a friend's son committed suicide following a marijuana-induced psychotic break.
Alex now 'warriors on' about covid on his Substack, Unreported Truths, no matter how much a of pariah it has made him. I highly commend his writing as another oasis of sanity.
Thank you for posting this book. We have read it and used many of the listed studies in our submission to our provincial coroner for an official inquest. I've also been in contact with Alex. He has been generous and kind. - Tara
I was thinking the same thing. Alex had the courage to write about the dangers of marijuana when it is an extremely unpopular opinion. And now he has the courage to take an honest look at the Covid vaccines. We are sorely lacking people of true courage lately but we have a few heroes. And it turns out that many don't wear capes but they do drive trucks.
Maybe someone with a subscription can post this in one of his threads or forward it to him, as I attempted to post it but was unable
Thank you for writing this. My heart breaks for Mila and her family. I share a similar story, but my son survived his suicide attempt after experiencing psychosis from marijuana. He developed the pediatric disease of addiction and we spent his teen years in treatment. High school was not a priority anymore. He achieved 3 years of sobriety but relapsed and we haven't seen him in a year and a half.
I'm from Pueblo Colorado, ground zero for the marijuana expansion movement. As are response to the deviating harms of marijuana and the drug culture expansion, I developed a community called Every Brain Matters. https://everybrainmatters.org/
I now speak to families every day in crisis from marijuana use. This past Sunday I spoke to a family who was told to put their son in long-term care (nursing home) because he is permanently psychotic from marijuana. Just a few weeks ago, I spoke at a memorial service for Joshua. Joshua was having his 3rd psychotic break when he jumped in front of a train. Please listen. https://youtu.be/vfB7FGpvTCk
Marijuana is a factor in the increase in violence, addiction, homelessness, suicides, and mental illness.
I’m a clinical social worker with a specialty in substance abuse. I have been horrified by the legalization and normalization of marijuana as “harmless”, along with the “harm reduction” treatment model that ignores everything we know about the effect of drugs of abuse on the brain’s reward system. Given how much we understand about addiction, the willful ignorance displayed by public officials seems deliberate. The question is, “why”?
It's addiction economics. These elite drug dealers have deep pockets and have flooded the country with propaganda campaigns called marijuana medicine, less harmful, and safe. The legal marijuana is now more dangerous, more accessible, and more life-threating than ever before. Join us https://everybrainmatters.org/join/
I started smoking marijuana at age 19, became addicted and unable to quit until age 30. This was back in the 1970s, with much less potent stuff than is sold today. Even back then, “experts” were saying that Marijuana causes only “psychological” not physical dependence. My own experience then (and many others I have worked with since) belie this claim. In addition, I developed crippling panic attacks and am now saddled with a lifelong anxiety disorder, which thankfully I have learned skills to cope with. But I have been appalled at the narrative that marijuana is safe and non-addictive, and even worse that “medical” marijuana is being prescribed to alleviate the very anxiety disorders that it triggers despite ample scientific studies showing that it destabilizes our neurotransmitter balance and can trigger panic attacks, anxiety disorders and psychosis. Even NIDA and Nora Volkow have walked back their once strict stance on marijuana being harmful. Deep pockets indeed.
I have subscribed to you organization, btw.
Exactly.
Once you are addicted, the system will extract as much money from you (or the state) up until and including your death.
Dear Aubree, I am so deeply sorry for the pain you must be in with your son. We have three daughters, two older daughters that all experimented with marijuana to some degree. It was only Mila with Mila's unique biochemistry, that was affected. Alex Berenson's book was eye opening. We read through all of the studies he provided in that book and then went further to educate ourselves.
We have had a meeting with the drug counsellors and have submitted a request to our coroner for an official inquest. I have a cousin whose son has permanent psychoses after just a few months of using marijuana. I also know two other people who were able to get their children into treatment early enough to save them.
In Canada, with legalization, the message is that marijuana is safe and its use has been normalized. There has been no education around the danger signs. I hope to move into this next chapter of our lives talking to teenagers and sharing with them those danger signs so they can recognize when their friends are in need of help and not just "seeing ghosts". I am grateful for your work. Thank you.
-Tara
Dear Tara, I am so very sorry for you loss. I can't imagine how heartbreaking this is to lose a child. I am grateful that you reached out to me. I love that you want to spread education. As you know, there is a huge need for it. Would you consider contacting me at Every Brain Matters? We are developing educational presentations and have other projects going on. We have support groups and we also have families that want to start another support group for grief. My email is everybrainmatter@gmail.com. Sending you love.
Thanks for your balanced message. We each have unique biochemistry and 4 people I know have had their lives saved by careful medical use, one is addicted and a mess. It is neither harmless nor evil, it is a drug to be used carefully for specific treatments. In my family more lives have been destroyed by alcoholism. Legalizing should not include normalizing. Drug prohibition leads to stronger and more deadly drugs. People went from wine and beer to moonshine. High THC products are smaller and more efficient to smuggle. There are many more examples. Andrew Weill's book "From Chocolate to Morphine" is excellent. Kids need balanced information and support when they seek help.
i believe cannabis to be the most beneficial medicine for humanity, it has been demonized by big pharma as it replaces most of the outrageously profitable drugs with a safer more effective remedy which cures cancer etc. doctors and all health professionals need to learn its most effective applications, but won't due to the harmful propaganda
Marijuana, like almost any drug, can be beneficial to some people while it can also be harmful to others. Marijuana is more likely to be dangerous to a developing brain. If you don't start using it until your late 20s or older, you will be more likely to have a safe experience. Marijuana can be useful to treat certain conditions. It can also be dangerous for certain people. I think it was insanity for us to put people in prison for using or selling it but it is equally insane to claim that it is 100% safe for everyone - especially for adolescents. The problem we have today is that we have swung from "marijuana is a dangerous gateway drug" to "marijuana is perfectly safe and beneficial for everyone." Neither is the true story. We need real honesty so that we can prevent the sort of tragedy that Mila suffered. My heart breaks for her and for her family.
Thank your comments. When we talk about marijuana we need to define it. No amount of THC is safe for anyone to use under the age of 25. High concentrated THC is not proven safe for any adult to use. I have witness adults use legal products high concentrated THC products and experience psychosis and addiction. Legalizing marijuana is not about criminal justice reform. It's about money and allowing another predatory addiction-for-profit industry to target our children. It's Tobacco 2.0 but worse. THC is the perfect drug to embed addiction and cause mental illness. I expose this everyday through my organization. We have a public health crisis. Medicine has animal and clinical trails and science to back the claims, not sold by budtenders who just want to get you high. I have a science section on my website. https://everybrainmatters.org/science/
KLG thank you for a more balanced response. cannabis has been a boon for humanity, and does not deserve demonization from anybody, especially the propagandized. i refused it in my youth, even under high peer pressure. and started its use after 60, with good results for better sleeping, less pain and killing cancer. unless you meet an experienced, knowledgeable caring person; it is a trial and error process as the political process is corrupt and the medical system even worse
Mr. Jack: there is a HUGE difference here between a middle-aged adult -- which I assume you are -- who is mentally sound, and has decided to use ordinary marijuana (smoking a joint or taking something food-like version) -- and a vulnerable teenage child who is already showing signs of depression and/or mental illness! and high concentrate THC in a vaping pen is a much more troublesome form of intake than simply smoking a joint (which was all marijuana was, when you and I were teens or in college).
You are comparing apples and oranges here. I doubt anybody posting here would take medical marijuana away from cancer patients, nor anyone over age 60 who wants it as a sleep aid or pain moderator.
YOU ARE NOT A DEPRESSED TEENAGER!
No one should be doing trial and error with marijuana. It's a very dangerous drug. I know people who were recreational marijuana users most of their lives and in the past few years developed cannabis-induced psychosis, schizophrenia, and/or cannabinoid hyperemesis syndrome. Intoxicating yourself and making those big claims puts people at risk. Please follow the science when it comes to the chemicals in the marijuana plant, drugs and any publish health issue.
You seem to have an agenda regarding marijuana. That is fine.
I have no agenda with regards to it because I don't use it or have any interest in it other than curiosity as to our public policy. I have read enough about the people who have had really terrible psychiatric outcomes to understand that there are some very real dangers and I am dismayed at our current climate where talking about the dangers is nearly impossible.
There is also little doubt that we spent decades putting people in prison for the drug. We unnecessarily ruined thousands of lives in that way.
There are also some genuine medical uses for cannabis and we haven't been able to do nearly enough research on that because the drug was demonized for so long.
As to "trial and error", we do trial and error with drugs all the time. Every drug has the potential to have a side effect in particular people. I'm sure you've seen the commercials where they list the side effects of RX drugs? It is all an experiment.
Aubree Adams YOU ARE PUSHING MORE NONSENSE AGAIN
Well said
Your beliefs don't change the science and facts.
Aubree Adams you are fundamentally ignorant of science and facts which is sad. my beliefs are based mostly on my experience in living life which includes learning from all sides. it sounds like you are ignoring the fact that cannabis is a complicated medicine with multiple composition and applications
Read her website and then tell me if she is ignorant.
yep, she is biased and worse than ignorant
Thank you! I am so sorry for what you and your son have endured. I will register for your emails.
Thank you for sharing Mila's story (and Dan's and Jordan's very recently). As Mila stated we all need to wake up, stand up and be "the person who did the hard thing because it was right."
You know, I've essentially become desensitized to the phrase "children are resilient". It's become one of those heuristic phrases that removes all notion of nuance and complexity when it comes to the welfare of our children.
What's shocking isn't Mila's story, but that Mila's story is likely the story of so many of our children! It's quite haunting that the story constantly detailed how so many students began to use those THC pens, so you know that there are likely to be dozens of students suffering in that one school alone!
We need to understand that we can't conflate the notion of creating "anti-fragile" children with the notion that "children are resilient". Children are resilient to the extent that they will recover quickly from a broken bone, but in no way can we say that we are creating "anti-fragile" children who are able to thrive within the environments that we have forced them to live under. We need to create mentally strong children, and that includes providing them the avenues to flourish mentally. Under no circumstances can we argue that children have been flourishing with all of these draconian measures!
We all need to understand that just because are alive does not mean we are living. So many children have not been able to live, and we will have to live with the consequences of taking away the livelihoods of millions of children.
"Children are resilient" is proof that they know children are being abused, and they choose to turn away.
It's definitely been weaponized to rationalize the horrific abuses we have subjected children to because adults are too scared to behave like adults.
"children are resilient" -- the catch-all excuse for selfish adult behavior*
failure to understand the need to nurture "anti-fragile" children -- a main contributor to the destruction of a generation
not knowing the difference -- further unspeakable harm. Great post, Mod Dis.
* My husband's parents had seven marriages between, don't even get him started on this issue!
That’s it! Children are resilient is just an excuse for selfish adult behavior!
I am sick and tired of children having to carry the burden of their parent’s, and now the governments, bad behavior!
I read the story and could not fall asleep. My heart aches for Mila, her family and many other kids. I've always felt most concerned about children during the pandemic. My three kids are with me, but they have suffered enormously, and no one will compensate for the loss. We were raising them with minimum exposure to social media and computers in general - they were all into arts, nature, and hands-on learning. They were excellent at school, top students, winning competitions in creative writing, maths, natural sciences, travelling, etc. The pandemic management rules turned almost everything upside down. My teenaged son finished art school playing his chello alone in front of the computer's dark screen: no playing with his teachers, friends, no projects and competitions, no graduation concert. His drawings scattered around the house with no one to look at them but the family. He hated wasting time on-line but is still being forced to sit hours and hours with the computer. My daughter, like Mila, graduated from high school "on-line", entered to study life sciences at a university only to find out that the only professor daring to doubt the narrative was a teacher of English. Her studies were switched to a distant mode just a month after they began - she didn't even have time to make new friends and learn living by herself in another city. She survived covid and refused getting the vaccine or use the "opportunity passport", so was forced to take an academic leave. She's not going back to study life sciences. She hopes to start studying classical literature, if vaccine mandates are cancelled by next fall. My youngest one no longer wants to attend his primary school because he feels sick at the end of the day from mask wearing...
There are so many similar stories around the world that it scares me. It also scares and angers me how many adults keep pretending that everything is just fine with kids and students, that they can easily adjust, that "soft" drugs aren't dangerous, that being safe is most important, that one can actually get jabbed if they value community and education...
Thank you for spreading the stories that matter so much! Though painful, they give strength and ecouragement to fight.
Thank you for sharing part of your story here. How strange and backwards and unscientific that, in order to be part of polite scientific society, as it were, you must currently subscribe to things that you are told, to not question, to not hypothesize, to simply accept. This is the opposite of what scientific thinking and process and method are, of course, but so many have forgotten that, or never knew. Still: if your daughter can find meaning in the study of English, because a professor was open when no others were, perhaps she can find an amazing path through the wilderness. I took the opposite route, decades ago--entered college to study Literature and, dismayed by the lockstep, unquestioning nature of the class discussions I could not escape, I ran to science. There is truth and beauty to be found in both--in the humanities, and in the science--and also depravity and cowardice in both as well.
And no, the kids aren't all right. And yes, here we are, sharing stories that matter so much, as you say. Thank you for contributing to that effort.
Dear Ausra, my heart just breaks reading the story of your children. It brings me to the stories I have been told about so many children and the perverse world we are holding up for them, insisting it is normal and it is here to stay. Children raised to accept the facsimile of interaction and human connection via a blue lit screen. Children taught that their bodies are unreliable and other humans are dangerous, our only possible salvation in the hands of a pharmaceutical god. Children being shown that safety is the most important thing in this world. What comes of this? What humans come from this?
I am comforted that your children have you. I read stories, like these ones https://familiesforchoice.ca/from-the-children direct from the children themselves and I weep. Children who are not sent lunches from home, who stand in the frigid Toronto cold, outside of a coffee shop, disallowed in, while their friends go in to eat. How can this be? How can human beings see a young child, standing in the cold, while they eat on the other side of the glass and accept this?
I don't know what to do so I shared this story. I go to the convoy. I try to speak for what it's worth. I believe that we are all being called to be courageous even in the small ways. Even if it's just refusing to be silent. You and your family are in my heart now, too. Thank you for sharing your story.
-Tara
I'm so impressed that your children are willing to fight - and suffer - for what they believe. I'm sad for those adults with children who refuse to look further than the main stream media. I believe in the long run their children will suffer. I wish you and them the best.
Thank you for sharing. I’ve really begun to realize just lately with my own children how much this is messing them up mentally. They are so stressed about doing the right thing and not getting sick that they just can’t function anymore with out worrying every single hour of their lives. I’ve done everything I possibly could to diminish their fear and help them live their lives as normal as possible. But we’ve failed them and we will need to live with the consequences of these actions for a long time to come. Prayers for Tara and her family.
Yes. I have three daughters -- one was finishing middle school, one was in high school and one at university -- when the pandemic started. We offered them a stable, loving home. My husband's livelihood was never under threat, and we lived in a conservative area which allowed for in-person h.s.school from Sept. 2020 on. We had the resources to mediate the worse of the pandemic's pressures, including the rental of an extra bedroom for my apartment-bound daughter at university. And it was Still. Hard. to daily buoy up our daughters' mental health even with all the advantages one could hope for.
The area I live never shut down, but certain personalities of kids lived in terror and I know people who still mask and their kids are vaxed and boosted.
My friends in other states risked high fines to get out. I agree, it affected everywhere.
Heart wrenching and sickening.
This is how I lost my beautiful daughter too, on October 28, 2020. Her name was Erin. Thank you for writing about your daughter Mila
Dear Eustacia, I am so profoundly sorry for your loss. There are no words, I know. I wish I could hug you. I will bring Erin on my forest walk with me today, call her name out to the ravens and ask them to bring love to her. It's not enough but it's something. Sending you love. - Tara
I'm sorry for your loss.
Eustacia, no pressure to elaborate, but I and others may be curious.
I lost my only child, my 17 year-old son four years ago to suicide. I found him. I worked hard to stay in our home, to make it my sanctuary. Last week, my husband lost his job of 22 years -- no warning, no severance. He works in transportation and the chip shortage has devastated his industry. He turns 60 next month. Now, we must sell our home and move. We have lived under Covid lockdowns in CA; I was hoping we would make it. Now, I am so broken I can barely eat or sleep. This will be the last house where my son had a bedroom. My heart breaks for Mila's mom -- I know her endless pain.
I am so deeply sorry for your losses, all of them. So much devastation for so little reason, destruction not "just" of people and of livelihoods but of the human spirit. The pain no doubt is endless, as you say. It also changes. And you can go on, although even writing that feels trite and callous. Still: you can go on.
Thank you. It means a lot to me.
This story is tragic in so many ways…The consequences of the global response to Covid-19 will someday be viewed as one of the greatest harms humans ever perpetrated on each other. Also, as a clinical social worker with a specialty in substance abuse, I wish that people would stop normalizing marijuana use and pretending it’s harmless. In addition, I would like to see us stop the fiction of “harm reduction” and get serious about helping people overcome the prison of addiction before more lives are lost.
I would give this a thousand "likes" if I could. A few others have mentioned the substance abuse angle and I think society has leveled grave harms on society by normalizing marijuana use. We need also to help those suffering from addiction. So well said....Thank you.
It cannot be said often enough. Covid didn't make this happen the governments both national and local did this, and it broke people. How many and how badly is going to become clear in the decades to come.
I come also back to a comment I read online, "Are the marijuana legalization lawyers the same ones that negotiated the settlements with the tobacco companies and in 20 years will they be doing the same thing to the marijuana companies?" Probably not the exact same, but I agree with the spirit of the statement.