Concerning the differences in male and female points of view, I just want to add something. Men have been blamed for pretty nearly every bad thing that ever happened, for decades, now. Who knows (well, actually, I know) how resentment might build up in the male mind at being blamed for having been born male. I think men have had more than enough of this. You will see us fighting back.
I am not sure if I want to laugh, cry, scream or vomit. Yeah - I have seen men "fighting back" Abusive husband tried to kill me after I divorced him. When I finally got up the nerve to date again the man hit me on the second date - told me "deserved it". You are not being "blamed for having been born male". You are being blamed for "resenting" someone so much that you will beat them to death.
"In the United States, domestic violence, also known as intimate partner violence (IPV), results in nearly 1,300 deaths and 2 million injuries every year.
About 75% of domestic violence victims are killed when they try to leave the relationship or after they have left.
Women are 5 to 8 times more likely than men to be victimized by an intimate partner.
Women aged 16-24 are most likely to be victimized by an intimate partner.
Most IPV incidents are not reported to the police."
(google)
I think that women have had more than enough of this. You will see us fighting back.
Um, when was it that I assaulted you? How many of the approximately 100 million men in this country have assaulted you? Or anyone. You are lumping men together just as other bigots lump all blacks together, or all Jews together. That's the definition of a bigot; someone who assigns negative traits to an entire class of people, based on the actions of a few. You are what I am fighting.
I did state that I have been assaulted twice yet apparently in your mind I am a "bigot" because I realized that the only person who could keep me safe from hateful and abusive people - both men and women was myself. The main difference between the sexes in this context is that women will do gossipy, name calling, reputation ruining kinds of shit when they get pissed off while men will try to beat you to death.
I could cover pages with my experiences of being intimidated, threatened and endangered by men while doing something as innocuous as driving a car alone while female, owning a home while single and female, walking down the street alone and female, or by asking a man to slow down on an icy residential road, or by saying no to sex. To quote Andrea Dworkin: "Most women have experienced enough dominance from men—control, violence, insult, contempt—that no threat seems empty."
And you threaten to "fight back". Who are you going to "fight"? Women? Any woman? All women? Why? Some woman did you wrong so you are after all of us?That is the definition of a bigot.
Are you also going to "fight" men? How 'bout "fighting" the men who are beating women? If you are not a part of the solution - if you don't care if a man beats his wife to death because it wasn't YOU who did it - you are a part of the problem.
Your language sets off all the alarms. I do not believe a woman - any woman - even an "obedient" and "agreeable" or "compliant" women is safe around you. This is not bigotry - it is intuition and it is often the only way a woman stays alive in this world.
"signing up for voluntary sterilizations, which I know some women in their 20s to have done. This, on the basis that they are “certain” that they will never want children."
This idea of being "certain" ties into the abortion debate because pro-choice proponents will tout the "her body, her choice" mantra with the premise that every woman choosing to have an abortion is doing so with the certainty that they are making the right/best decision for themselves (as well as their unborn child, in the case of pregnant women in poverty, abusive households, lack of support networks, etc.).
Just as the discussion of detransitioners is stigmatized, so too is the topic of abortion regret, to the point that as a society we are failing to acknowledge it exists or dismissing the conversation when women attempt to bring it up.
I speak from the standpoint as someone with an immediate family member who had an abortion the first time she was pregnant, and who would go on to later have 2 children with her now husband who are now into their 30s. This family member, who was at that point pro-choice and had herself convinced she was certain it was the best decision (she was not in a committed relationship when she became pregnant and the guy in question walked away when informed of the pregnancy. She also did not have higher education, did not hold a stable job, and was living in an apartment with roommates at the time).
But years later after having her own children, fell into a major depression over her abortion regret, and to this day does not forgive herself for killing her unborn baby and depriving her future children of their sibling. She is now pro-life and genuinely wishes she faced more barriers when accessing abortion because it may well have stopped her from following through with it.
It's hard to "like" such a sad story, but thank you for telling it. I always say that every abortion has two victims (at least), and both need our compassion.
Thank you for the kind words Linda, it means a lot especially considering I have previously been dismissed/shamed in other instances of attempting to address the topic of abortion regret. You are right that every abortion has multiple victims, and its victims all deserve to have a voice/be acknowledged alongside the discussion.
In my own substack essay, I attempted to answer the question of why there are people who blindly refuse to see through the propaganda and blithely and unthinkingly respond when questioned that Trump is a threat to democracy. I thought that part of the answer was contained in Mattais Desmet's "Psychology of Totalitarianism" and his theory of mass formation. I thought the other part was explained by a condition known as "Amygdala Hijack" which is when a fight-or-flight response to stress or fear disables the rational functions of the frontal lobes. The media pushes fear porn, especially about Trump, and some people loose the ability to think clearly, also referred to as TDS.
I still think that is true, but your essay took a subset (some women), and explained in a very rational way why they are behaving in an irrational manner. Well written and thought provoking.
The irrationality is apparent with your example of abortion rights. SCOTUS did not ban abortion but tossed it back to the States because their was no constitutional authority for Roe v Wade. No State has successfully banned abortion though some have tried. Young women should realize that any attempt to ban abortion by Trump or to restore Roe v Wade by Harris would both be found unconstitutional by SCOTUS. A rational view would suggest that if a woman takes responsibility for herself, then she has available to her, numerous technologies not available 50 years ago to do just that. Wanting the ability to procrastinate past the point of fetus viability is not a endorsement of reproductive rights, as much as it is a desire to be irresponsible and camouflage the irrationality with virtue. I absolutely believe a woman has the right to decide but should exercise that right before the baby has its own rights at viability. I concede that viability is ill-defined, but the current consensus is 24 weeks which is more than enough time to decide.
Another minor example of irrationality, is that many of the people who believe my body my choice, were perfectly willing to deny that choice to others concerning vaccinations.
I have long put the divergence of attitudes between the sexes as the result of ever more females going to college to the point that they outnumber the males in all but STEM fields. My experience with teachers before I retired was that I had less in common with them the larger the age gap. Could women's higher level of agreeableness make them more susceptible to bad ideas? There is some anecdotal evidence that young women are more vulnerable to cults. I suppose that a higher level of neuroticism also makes them more sensitive to disharmony. Heather, you've spent a lot longer in higher education than I have. Do you think young women are more easily radicalized than young men?
I think there a case to be made that compassion and empathy lead to different conclusions than a dispassionate data-driven conclusion. As an engineer (who scores very low on "agreeableness"), I have a bias here, but it an honest question: Do male/female personality differences naturally lead to male/female policy differences?
Well, I see a lot of backlash among substack commenters, a number of (presumably) men who resent the greater role of women and feminine influences in government and other leadership positions, and some even go so far as to say women shouldn't be able to vote anymore. These comments make me uncomfortable (I am a woman) though I don't protest. I do remember the bad old days when the testosterone was in control. Why must we always be living in the extremes, instead of the happier center?
DEI for example. It's very possible that this is because of the increasing influence of the more empathetic women in policymaking positions.
I'm a classic 60s feminist, and I don't recognize today's feminism.
Concerning the differences in male and female points of view, I just want to add something. Men have been blamed for pretty nearly every bad thing that ever happened, for decades, now. Who knows (well, actually, I know) how resentment might build up in the male mind at being blamed for having been born male. I think men have had more than enough of this. You will see us fighting back.
Good.
I am not sure if I want to laugh, cry, scream or vomit. Yeah - I have seen men "fighting back" Abusive husband tried to kill me after I divorced him. When I finally got up the nerve to date again the man hit me on the second date - told me "deserved it". You are not being "blamed for having been born male". You are being blamed for "resenting" someone so much that you will beat them to death.
"In the United States, domestic violence, also known as intimate partner violence (IPV), results in nearly 1,300 deaths and 2 million injuries every year.
About 75% of domestic violence victims are killed when they try to leave the relationship or after they have left.
Women are 5 to 8 times more likely than men to be victimized by an intimate partner.
Women aged 16-24 are most likely to be victimized by an intimate partner.
Most IPV incidents are not reported to the police."
(google)
I think that women have had more than enough of this. You will see us fighting back.
Um, when was it that I assaulted you? How many of the approximately 100 million men in this country have assaulted you? Or anyone. You are lumping men together just as other bigots lump all blacks together, or all Jews together. That's the definition of a bigot; someone who assigns negative traits to an entire class of people, based on the actions of a few. You are what I am fighting.
I did state that I have been assaulted twice yet apparently in your mind I am a "bigot" because I realized that the only person who could keep me safe from hateful and abusive people - both men and women was myself. The main difference between the sexes in this context is that women will do gossipy, name calling, reputation ruining kinds of shit when they get pissed off while men will try to beat you to death.
I could cover pages with my experiences of being intimidated, threatened and endangered by men while doing something as innocuous as driving a car alone while female, owning a home while single and female, walking down the street alone and female, or by asking a man to slow down on an icy residential road, or by saying no to sex. To quote Andrea Dworkin: "Most women have experienced enough dominance from men—control, violence, insult, contempt—that no threat seems empty."
And you threaten to "fight back". Who are you going to "fight"? Women? Any woman? All women? Why? Some woman did you wrong so you are after all of us?That is the definition of a bigot.
Are you also going to "fight" men? How 'bout "fighting" the men who are beating women? If you are not a part of the solution - if you don't care if a man beats his wife to death because it wasn't YOU who did it - you are a part of the problem.
Your language sets off all the alarms. I do not believe a woman - any woman - even an "obedient" and "agreeable" or "compliant" women is safe around you. This is not bigotry - it is intuition and it is often the only way a woman stays alive in this world.
"signing up for voluntary sterilizations, which I know some women in their 20s to have done. This, on the basis that they are “certain” that they will never want children."
This idea of being "certain" ties into the abortion debate because pro-choice proponents will tout the "her body, her choice" mantra with the premise that every woman choosing to have an abortion is doing so with the certainty that they are making the right/best decision for themselves (as well as their unborn child, in the case of pregnant women in poverty, abusive households, lack of support networks, etc.).
Just as the discussion of detransitioners is stigmatized, so too is the topic of abortion regret, to the point that as a society we are failing to acknowledge it exists or dismissing the conversation when women attempt to bring it up.
I speak from the standpoint as someone with an immediate family member who had an abortion the first time she was pregnant, and who would go on to later have 2 children with her now husband who are now into their 30s. This family member, who was at that point pro-choice and had herself convinced she was certain it was the best decision (she was not in a committed relationship when she became pregnant and the guy in question walked away when informed of the pregnancy. She also did not have higher education, did not hold a stable job, and was living in an apartment with roommates at the time).
But years later after having her own children, fell into a major depression over her abortion regret, and to this day does not forgive herself for killing her unborn baby and depriving her future children of their sibling. She is now pro-life and genuinely wishes she faced more barriers when accessing abortion because it may well have stopped her from following through with it.
It's hard to "like" such a sad story, but thank you for telling it. I always say that every abortion has two victims (at least), and both need our compassion.
Thank you for the kind words Linda, it means a lot especially considering I have previously been dismissed/shamed in other instances of attempting to address the topic of abortion regret. You are right that every abortion has multiple victims, and its victims all deserve to have a voice/be acknowledged alongside the discussion.
In my own substack essay, I attempted to answer the question of why there are people who blindly refuse to see through the propaganda and blithely and unthinkingly respond when questioned that Trump is a threat to democracy. I thought that part of the answer was contained in Mattais Desmet's "Psychology of Totalitarianism" and his theory of mass formation. I thought the other part was explained by a condition known as "Amygdala Hijack" which is when a fight-or-flight response to stress or fear disables the rational functions of the frontal lobes. The media pushes fear porn, especially about Trump, and some people loose the ability to think clearly, also referred to as TDS.
I still think that is true, but your essay took a subset (some women), and explained in a very rational way why they are behaving in an irrational manner. Well written and thought provoking.
The irrationality is apparent with your example of abortion rights. SCOTUS did not ban abortion but tossed it back to the States because their was no constitutional authority for Roe v Wade. No State has successfully banned abortion though some have tried. Young women should realize that any attempt to ban abortion by Trump or to restore Roe v Wade by Harris would both be found unconstitutional by SCOTUS. A rational view would suggest that if a woman takes responsibility for herself, then she has available to her, numerous technologies not available 50 years ago to do just that. Wanting the ability to procrastinate past the point of fetus viability is not a endorsement of reproductive rights, as much as it is a desire to be irresponsible and camouflage the irrationality with virtue. I absolutely believe a woman has the right to decide but should exercise that right before the baby has its own rights at viability. I concede that viability is ill-defined, but the current consensus is 24 weeks which is more than enough time to decide.
Another minor example of irrationality, is that many of the people who believe my body my choice, were perfectly willing to deny that choice to others concerning vaccinations.
Dick Minnis
removingthecataract
I have long put the divergence of attitudes between the sexes as the result of ever more females going to college to the point that they outnumber the males in all but STEM fields. My experience with teachers before I retired was that I had less in common with them the larger the age gap. Could women's higher level of agreeableness make them more susceptible to bad ideas? There is some anecdotal evidence that young women are more vulnerable to cults. I suppose that a higher level of neuroticism also makes them more sensitive to disharmony. Heather, you've spent a lot longer in higher education than I have. Do you think young women are more easily radicalized than young men?
For what it's worth, I've been calling progressivism a cult for years.
As a former feminist, I fear the movement will be remembered chiefly for training women to be inferior men, and men to be inferior women.
I haven't thought of it that way. It makes perfect sense.
I remember when conservative Republicans were excoriated as "one-issue voters," that issue being abortion. Now the shoe is on the other foot.
Excellent article!
White middle class women (like myself) have a lot to answer for!
I think there a case to be made that compassion and empathy lead to different conclusions than a dispassionate data-driven conclusion. As an engineer (who scores very low on "agreeableness"), I have a bias here, but it an honest question: Do male/female personality differences naturally lead to male/female policy differences?
Well, I see a lot of backlash among substack commenters, a number of (presumably) men who resent the greater role of women and feminine influences in government and other leadership positions, and some even go so far as to say women shouldn't be able to vote anymore. These comments make me uncomfortable (I am a woman) though I don't protest. I do remember the bad old days when the testosterone was in control. Why must we always be living in the extremes, instead of the happier center?
DEI for example. It's very possible that this is because of the increasing influence of the more empathetic women in policymaking positions.
I'm a classic 60s feminist, and I don't recognize today's feminism.
I would think that is undeniable. Look into ANYTHING from Aaron Clary.