Thank you, Heather. Like you and your family, I grew up in Los Angeles and spent many memorable days camping in the Sierras with my family, going to the Mojave desert to see the wildflowers, and even watching my heroic father on top of our roof during the Bel Air fires (no, he didn't bring his 4 year old up with him, but wished he had as I was scared to death). All of those memories come flooding back as I read your beautiful tribute to your father and the values he instilled in you. Lucky are your sons who do still get that part of your dad. And those ripples will probably continue for generations. Sadly, we never really think about the effects our ancestors have imparted upon us, as silent and powerful as they may be. And thank you for the work you and Brett do. Mere words will never be able to convey the appreciation we have for you both.
Thank you so much. We Angelenos share history even we don’t know one another. It’s a strange place to be from, far more interesting and also, I think, broken, than Hollywood makes it out to be.
Thank you, Heather, for sharing a rich, honest and vividly beautiful memoir of your father and your childhood. You are certainly blessed with a full life and quite engaging and present parents. And the food descriptions...wow!
Wow, it brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing. It was 10 years for me last spring. Our fathers still teach us long after they are gone. It's funny how their voices still come back precisely when the wisdom in their words is unlocked.
I haven't read the whole thing. It's a lot to process in one sitting. I lost my father on the cusp of the millinium and my mother last July, and with my brother gone I feel like an orphan at 70 yo. All of them, even my older brother were there for me. And my mother's parents were very important to me growing up as well. Almost to her dying day did my mother praise and give thanks to the quality of my father's relationship with his in-laws. I would not describe my childhood as Idyllic, and probably my late brother would not either. Neither of us had children. Something that I regret, even though I could never be the fathers that my father and grandfather were to their children. Memories seem to be the greatest consolation of old age. I would hate to get feeble and foolish without them for some comfort.
Wow. And what a timely article for me. I was just in a discussion this morning on the lessons learned from and what we appreciated most about our parents. It was an opportunity for me to once again reflect and remember their influence in making me the woman I am today. This also gives insight in to how you grew into the complex, interesting person you are. Kudos.
I just read your story. It is a wonderful memory and I tear up. It is beautifully written, and I can feel that it has had a big impact on how you approach life.
I'm thinking of my father, not by any means close to your fathers spirit. He encouraged me to study in a family were only he had finished anything beyond mandatory school. He always believed I could do things as well as the "guys". Unfortunately, he died during finals in my 2nd year of college, and never saw me graduate with advance degree in Engineering and Comp Science.
What I think we may have in common, is that we were taught that we are able to do things that some consider to be just for boys. I was always good at math, but never heard that "oh, you are good at math and you are a girl". Never occurred to me that guys were better at math.
So, I have a question as a side note to you:
I have never ever felt discriminated because I'm a woman, maybe because of my fathers attitude and encouragement. The few times I heard some comment I took it as coming from some jerk, usually I could put such people in their place. Even if there are people who doubt your intelligence, say in a class, once you show that you are as good or better than the rest of the guys in class, you do get the respect.
I wonder, Heather, did you experience this discrimination of that women cannot do math, physics etc. that our society is talking about? I grew up in Scandinavia, which is in the top when it comes to equal opportunity for men and women, but I also spent summers in communist Eastern Europe (1970-90s) where my father lived. In education women were not suppressed, they were considered as far as I could se as good in STEM as men. Sure, in the community there were "rules" among the elders what you should and should not do as a female in a catholic country, but more related to sexuality, pregnancy etc.
Maybe it is in USA that women feel that way, or maybe you and I who were taught that we are smart, can do stuff, drive a car better than guys or beat them in math or card games do not feel it the same way.
It is a side note, but I started to think about this as I hear around me all the time about discrimination and specially in a CA community college where I taught for 15 years..
Oh Heather, I wish I could give you a hug. Reading this it's so easy to understand why you miss your father so much.
Thank you, Heather. Like you and your family, I grew up in Los Angeles and spent many memorable days camping in the Sierras with my family, going to the Mojave desert to see the wildflowers, and even watching my heroic father on top of our roof during the Bel Air fires (no, he didn't bring his 4 year old up with him, but wished he had as I was scared to death). All of those memories come flooding back as I read your beautiful tribute to your father and the values he instilled in you. Lucky are your sons who do still get that part of your dad. And those ripples will probably continue for generations. Sadly, we never really think about the effects our ancestors have imparted upon us, as silent and powerful as they may be. And thank you for the work you and Brett do. Mere words will never be able to convey the appreciation we have for you both.
Thank you so much. We Angelenos share history even we don’t know one another. It’s a strange place to be from, far more interesting and also, I think, broken, than Hollywood makes it out to be.
Touching in every way. You have a gift and I am delighted to be able to share it. Many thanks.
That took my breath away and sent me down my own lane of memory. Thank you!
Thank you, Heather, for sharing a rich, honest and vividly beautiful memoir of your father and your childhood. You are certainly blessed with a full life and quite engaging and present parents. And the food descriptions...wow!
Wow, it brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing. It was 10 years for me last spring. Our fathers still teach us long after they are gone. It's funny how their voices still come back precisely when the wisdom in their words is unlocked.
I haven't read the whole thing. It's a lot to process in one sitting. I lost my father on the cusp of the millinium and my mother last July, and with my brother gone I feel like an orphan at 70 yo. All of them, even my older brother were there for me. And my mother's parents were very important to me growing up as well. Almost to her dying day did my mother praise and give thanks to the quality of my father's relationship with his in-laws. I would not describe my childhood as Idyllic, and probably my late brother would not either. Neither of us had children. Something that I regret, even though I could never be the fathers that my father and grandfather were to their children. Memories seem to be the greatest consolation of old age. I would hate to get feeble and foolish without them for some comfort.
Wow. And what a timely article for me. I was just in a discussion this morning on the lessons learned from and what we appreciated most about our parents. It was an opportunity for me to once again reflect and remember their influence in making me the woman I am today. This also gives insight in to how you grew into the complex, interesting person you are. Kudos.
I try not to speed more than 25% over the speed limit
Thank you so much for that portrait of a great dad. The father/daughter bond is so important! I had the benefit of a good one too.
In the night time of the blood,
They are laughing and saying,
Our little lane,
What a kingdom it was!
Galway Kinnell
That was beautiful and touching. It's not easy to capture a life in an essay. You did well...my heart (I lost my dad in 2020).
Again Heather well done.
My dear, first-gen USA, WWII vet, mathematician, tuba-playing father was also color-blind. So is my son.
What a beautiful remembrance of a special father and life lived. Thank you for sharing
I just read your story. It is a wonderful memory and I tear up. It is beautifully written, and I can feel that it has had a big impact on how you approach life.
I'm thinking of my father, not by any means close to your fathers spirit. He encouraged me to study in a family were only he had finished anything beyond mandatory school. He always believed I could do things as well as the "guys". Unfortunately, he died during finals in my 2nd year of college, and never saw me graduate with advance degree in Engineering and Comp Science.
What I think we may have in common, is that we were taught that we are able to do things that some consider to be just for boys. I was always good at math, but never heard that "oh, you are good at math and you are a girl". Never occurred to me that guys were better at math.
So, I have a question as a side note to you:
I have never ever felt discriminated because I'm a woman, maybe because of my fathers attitude and encouragement. The few times I heard some comment I took it as coming from some jerk, usually I could put such people in their place. Even if there are people who doubt your intelligence, say in a class, once you show that you are as good or better than the rest of the guys in class, you do get the respect.
I wonder, Heather, did you experience this discrimination of that women cannot do math, physics etc. that our society is talking about? I grew up in Scandinavia, which is in the top when it comes to equal opportunity for men and women, but I also spent summers in communist Eastern Europe (1970-90s) where my father lived. In education women were not suppressed, they were considered as far as I could se as good in STEM as men. Sure, in the community there were "rules" among the elders what you should and should not do as a female in a catholic country, but more related to sexuality, pregnancy etc.
Maybe it is in USA that women feel that way, or maybe you and I who were taught that we are smart, can do stuff, drive a car better than guys or beat them in math or card games do not feel it the same way.
It is a side note, but I started to think about this as I hear around me all the time about discrimination and specially in a CA community college where I taught for 15 years..